This here song is full of true stories and those are usually the best stories – at least in my humble opinion. I guess you could make this stuff up, but who would want to? I certainly am not the kind of writer who sits around thinking of writing painful fiction about my life or others…. but there are those writers that do and some make lots of money doing it. Maybe someday I could make a lot of money from my life stories, but that’s not my necessarily my goal. My goal is release, healing, and connection with you – THROUGH sharing the RAW, the REAL, and the STRENGTH of our vulnerability. That age old adage “Don’t let um see you sweat,” is not followed here.”
Every word of this song is true and it’s hard stuff. It’s the stuff that sadly, lots and lots.. and I mean LOTS of kids and parents go through. A drunk violent Father, a victimized Mother, and the kids staring out from hidden corners, or like me, laying on my bed not daring to move lest the monster come my way. There I was laid out flat on my bed… and it felt as if the blood was draining out of my body through the bed sinking into the wooden floor as I turned ice cold white from the fear numbing out my heart as my drunk Step Father had it out on my Mother. I was 10 years old and I’d already seen things that I should never have seen, felt or have had to deal with. Recalling this time in my life, my heart feels deeply saddened as the old memories activate the wounds that this song holds; not only for myself but for my family, and for so many other wounded and confused souls trying to function but deeply broken inside.
BUT… this is why I write and sing this shit. Because it’s healing. At some point, we have to let it out. If we do not, our truest selves will continue to be BURIED ALIVE by whatever we might be using to cope. I coped with excess eating. At first it was 2-3 servings at meals. Then slowly it was more and more sugar and junk in-between healthy meals. Then it was full on addiction to the sugar and junk affecting my brain chemistry making me want more and more. It was the only way I knew how to handle emotional buildup from the past and from the strife of of my everyday life in a numbed out existence.
I wrote poems for years but then the came the DEMAND for vocalization. The soul in me demanded release and that’s when the numb began to break. The good news is, is that it is still breaking and I’m unburying and coming alive on levels I never knew possible and I’m finding out that the journey through the pain of it all has fleshed me out into a full-bodied soul that has been arising from the ashes for awhile now.
I GOT A RIGHT TO SING THE BLUES is some of my story and maybe some of your story. The raw heartbreak of family violence, the tender loss of a poor child’s new clothes, the SAD demise of a 20 year marriage, and the devastating loss of a partner to cancer.
Stories.. we all got um. Some are full of roses with no thorns but mine had F-N thorns and you know what? Today I’m grateful.
I Got A Right to Sing The Blues I Got a Right to Sing The Blues I Got a Right, yes I do to Sing The Blues ‘Cause I done paid, I done paid my 100% dues Hard times warmin’ your hands with hot potatoes Tellin’ me ‘bout swimmin’ to work Through swamp full of Gators You walkin’ 100 miles without shoes To the school bus As this jive, all this jive, I’m gonna tell ya Some real hard stuff Listenin’ to the step daddy drinkin’ and beatin’ my Mamma With Child in her belly my little baby Brother Some food stamps, shelters, runnin’ day and night Hidin’ all the time from the sad drinkin’ monster Welfare lady got us all new clothes They got stolen that night from the trunk of the ‘47 Olds Only thing made any sense in all the crazy confusion Was Sunday ‘go to meetin’ time’ Singin’ on the church bench A Right ta Sing The Blues I Got a Right now ta Sing The Blues ‘Cause I done paid, I done paid my 100% due yah I done paid, I done paid my 100% dues Yah Mr. Slideboy 20 years of loneliness I didn’t know what to do Way to young to know and scared to make a move Finally ya know I walked out with shakin’ legs Singin’ Voodoo Chile Voodoo Child all the way Three years later by the bed of the man that I loved As he said his last prayers to the good Lord above You know the Angels came They took him home that day It hurt so bad I just can’t explain Then it all came down and it went right through me It ripped me right open left me raw right to my bones And when I got up, only one thing left to do I knew I had to sing, I had to sing my blues I Got a Right, to Sing The Blues I Got a Right, I Got a Right to Sing The Blues ‘Cause I done paid, I done paid my 100% dues yes I done paid, I done paid my 100% dues Yah to the breakdown Right... to Sing The Blues I Got a Right, yes I do to Sing The Blues ‘Cause I done paid Child I done paid my 100% dues Yah you know what, I know you Got A Right now To Sing the Blues, Yah ya got a Right ya got a Right to Sing The Blues, if you done If you done paid your hundred, maybe 200, 500 I know it’s gonna be 1000 before I die, yes it is Whoa it ain’t no way Child it ain’t no way It ain’t no way you can sing the blues if you ain’t paid ha ha, yah your 100% dues Yah I’m gonna tell ya somethin‘ You better watch out ‘cause the blacksmith of the blues is gonna come along here now And brand your backside, haw He gonna fire it up, hammer it out You gonna be walkin’ around goin’ Wooo I got 100% right here and another 100% over here… whoa Ya Got a Right to Sing The Blues I Got a Right now to Sing the Blues ‘Cause I done paid, I done paid my 100% dues Yah I done paid, I done paid my 100% dues I done paid, I done paid my 100% dues, yahow (c) 2012 Cee Cee James / Rob Slideboy Andrews From the CD - BLOOD RED BLUES Vocals- Cee Cee James / Rhythm Guitars- Rob Slideboy Andrews / Lead Guitar- Rocky Athas / Bass- Dan Mohler / Drums- Chris Leighton / Piano Snyth- Susan Julian
Video shot in Bellingham, WA by Audience Member Morgan Paris Lanza
Header Photo: Taken at GOOR BLUES CLUB – Belgium